Why Do Some People Get OCD?

This is something I spent years and years wondering about. In fact it took me about 10 years to stop looking for reasons for 'why me!' OCD can feel so specific and personal that it’s easy to assume there must be one clear reason it shows up. In my case it developed hard and fast when I had a particularly horrible breakup from a bad relationship. But the truth is a little messier — and actually, a little more comforting.

There isn’t one single cause of OCD. Yes that's what the boffins are saying and I reckon they know they must know a thing or two! 

Photo byNick Fewings 

Most researchers now believe OCD happens when a few different things overlap: how someone’s brain is wired, their natural temperament, and what they’ve been through in life.

Some people are born with a higher risk. OCD tends to run in families, and certain genes seem to affect how the brain handles fear, uncertainty, and habits. That doesn’t mean OCD is inevitable — just that some brains are more sensitive to getting stuck in worry loops. I can't remember off the top of my head but it was something really high like a 40% chance that if one parent has it, then you are likely to have the same genes that make you susceptible.

Brain scans back this up. In people with OCD, the brain areas responsible for detecting danger and deciding when something is “done” don’t always turn off properly. So even when you know something is fine, your brain keeps whispering, “But what if?”

Another big piece is intrusive thoughts. Everyone has weird, unwanted thoughts — literally everyone. The difference with OCD is that those thoughts feel meaningful and urgent, like they say something terrible about you or must be dealt with immediately. That panic leads to compulsions, which bring temporary relief but end up teaching the brain to repeat the cycle. You try to neutralise the intrusive thought by researching, trying to think of a contrary thought or by doing a certain action.

Stress also plays a role. A lot of people notice OCD starting or getting worse during intense periods — big life changes, illness, loss, or long-term anxiety.(That's me!)  It’s like the disorder was already there in the background, waiting for the right conditions to get loud. 

Early experiences can matter too. Growing up in high-stress, highly critical, or unpredictable environments can shape how someone learns to cope with fear and uncertainty. Again, this doesn’t cause OCD by itself — it just adds another layer. 

The main takeaway? OCD isn’t a personality flaw or a failure of willpower.  Do you see what I've done there... I've stuck that in bold because  I spent so many years beating myself up and trying my hardest to out think the condition. I honestly believed I was a failure because I couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts and couldn't stop the flip flop thoughts going back and forth as I tried to make myself better. It’s a brain-based condition shaped by many factors, and it looks different for everyone.

And the hopeful part: because OCD is something the brain learns, it’s also something the brain can unlearn — with the right support, tools, and time. Yes, that's right I've stuck something else in bold,  as it's the biggest take home of all of this. I have spent about 15 years in and out of therapy over the years and one of the main thing I learnt was that all life skills could be learnt. They are simply that, skills. my confidence was shot, my self esteem was shot, my love for myself was shot, my reactions to other people were always over the top, my motivation was non existent, I could go on! Anyway the upshot is that, it is 100% true you can learn, quite literally learn all of those amazing skills that some people just seem to exhibit so easily. And so it is with OCD, you can unlearn those habits that have turned your life into a living nightmare. I know it to be true as I eventually found my way out and whilst I know that everyone will have OCD to varying degrees but I honestly believe that wherever you sit on that line, you can make considerable changes to your life for the better, with the right support.