To Be or Not to Be ROCD, that is the Question?

I think this must be one of the biggest and most difficult questions to ask for people when they because OCD is such an insidious condition is that it confuses you and perplexes you at every turn. I believe though, it is quite self-selecting. And what I mean by that is, if you are reading this post and have actively looked for this (or content like it) out then you are probably in a state of some emotional pain and that immediately raises the first flag that you may be experiencing ROCD.
 
For me, my compulsions were always in my head and so I wasn’t even aware that they were
compulsions for many years. It can be quite confusing if you are used to ruminating a lot.
When I realised that I was actually carrying out mental compulsions then it really was quite a breakthrough. And some of my compulsions were really odd. For example, when I was trying to deal with some intrusive thoughts about the fact my girlfriends eyes looked like the eyes from a doll (and it was scaring the heck out of me – yes, I know it sounds odd), I found that by thinking about a boy that I used to go to school with made me feel better. That’s very strange I would think, but I better do feel better. So as soon as the intrusive thought came in, back to the boy's face and I would feel better. Over and over and over until I realised that it wasn’t working anymore because I was getting more and more intrusive thoughts. Part of your brain knows that there is still something wrong (as you keep thinking about some boy's face to help you feel better!) … and so, it just sends plenty more intrusive thoughts to see if you really are better. (It does this by the way as your brain is trying to protect you – because you felt fear when the intrusive thought came in, your body reacted with adrenaline and fighting hormones to get you through the perceived danger. This manifests as the emotional distress you find yourself in, completely pumped up by your body’s own hormones. I digress. I realised that I was carrying out rituals and compulsions. Sometimes it would just be I peruse the internet over and over and over looking for the ‘cure’, the piece of information that was going to set me free and allow me to live a more normal life. If it wants that, it was endless conversations either with my friends or my girlfriend in an endless search for reassurance. All of the behaviours are compulsions and point you to the fact that you are suffering from OCD – and in my case and possibly yours, ROCD. I was lucky in that I noticed some of my compulsions where a little out of the ordinary like the example above given. Lucky because that meant I could just about see that it wasn’t quite normal and so might be a compulsion. Maybe if you are endlessly asking for reassurance from your partner. You might for example believe that they really don’t love you and you are continually seeking reassurance that they do. You will probably have a good idea in your heart of hearts if you are doing it slightly excessively. Are you spending hours looking on Quora for evidence? Are you perhaps carrying out physical compulsions? If I do ‘this’ then all will be well and our relationship is right. Or if I do ‘that’ then my partner won’t leave me. All compulsions. 
And this is really important to know. If you are doing compulsions and they are about your primary relationship, you will probably have ROCD. 
You may not be able to tell, just yet if you are doing compulsions as your mind is too much of a jumble and you might not realise what are compulsions just yet. If that is the case, then you need to ask yourself honestly, ‘Am I having intrusive thoughts (thoughts that just pop in my head that I can’t control) that cause me to feel extreme anxiety. Does this extreme anxiety mean that I find it hard to get on with my normal life? Are they so bad that I am living in a state of extreme distress? If you are having intrusive thoughts to this extent to any extent about any aspect of your relationship then again, there is a good chance that you are suffering from ROCD. For me it became a lot clearer after I noticed that I was having similar issues with several of my girlfriends. I actually threw the towel in early on my first girlfriend where it started happening as it was causing me to freak out so much. It became a little bit clearer when I started having similar intrusive thoughts about that girlfriend. It’s a bit easier to recognise it as a pattern if it’s happened with more than one person. 
And that’s it really, if you are either having intrusive thoughts that are causing you high anxiety about some aspect of your relationship and / or you are carrying out compulsions either physically or mentally to make yourself better, then may well have ROCD.