Safety in Numbers

I phoned into a OCD group meeting on Tuesday night and it reminded me just how important and powerful ‘group therapy’ or just ‘meeting up in groups’ really is. There is no one on earth who truly understands what OCD is…. unless you happen to be one of those people with it. The truths that are told in the virtual or real room are incredibly powerful. No longer are you alone in the fight with one of mental health’s most insidious opponents. Now you belong to a group of people going through the same thing and are all 'in it together'. When you say ‘I just can’t bear this ‘ever-ending feeling that something isn’t quite right’ is fully understood just as, ‘I know what I should be doing to help myself feel better, but I somehow just don’t get round to it. I’m sort of sabotaging myself’. Feeling alone with an anxiety disorder like OCD is a horrible cross to bear and so to hear from others for an hour or two is valuable on so many levels. ‘Did you hear about ‘OCD Stories’`? ‘I tried those meds, but they didn’t really work for me.’ The tips and support ideas you can be alerted to are really helpful. Your local GP, who has about 5 minutes with you and doesn’t seem to ‘get’ what you are talking about might or might not point you in the right direction depending on their level of experience, but you can bet your bottom dollar, that if you find yourself in a room with enough of people with OCD, you are going to get some great ideas and information about how to help yourself feel better. 

Then there is the support itself. ‘You’re doing really well’, ‘Do you think you are being a bit hard on yourself’, ‘You’ve come such a long way when you look back’ and so on, comments. People who understand how difficult the fight against OCD is. ‘Just stop doing the compulsions and the intrusive thoughts will stop and voila, you’re cured’. Yes, yes, I get that, but it kind of feels like if I don’t carry on with them, I will be totally going against myself and who I am and where will that take me! Solidarity and support are something you will need to live successfully with OCD. Even if you can cope on your own, it will undoubtedly be easier if you check in with a group regularly.  Plus, then, you get to the point where you don’t want to do better. Maybe you learnt a lot from someone else last month, so maybe next month, you can bring something to the party. Normal group dynamics and politics, themselves billow your sails and give you the motivation to keep on with the mindfulness, exercise and super-nourishing diet (sigh)! They essentially can propel you forward hearing about how others overcame difficulties and giving you permission and ideas about how to push yourself on.

When people are together, invariably they will at some point like to have a bit of a laugh. And let me tell you, in my experience, there is a fair amount of levity and bravado in the OCD community. And why wouldn’t there, it’s like most of us know what we are doing is on some level nuts, even if that realisation comes in waves and isn’t always present. ‘Yes, its bonkers, when I stop to think about it, but I can’t stop myself doing it!’ And laughing in a group is about the best therapy that you can get, right up there with a good night’s sleep, I’d say. (On a personal note, OCD has contributed to isolation at many times in my life. I have ended up pushing people away, just wanting to be on my own and so groups are a great re-engagement with people).

 

Sharing your stories also has the incredible effect of getting the mental torment out of your head for a while. Mental health practitioners will often comment on how powerful expressing your thoughts in a diary is. It’s the same with group therapy. Your life makes more sense and the torment lessens by being able to express yourself in a group. It’s powerful. Some of the best times in my life have been when I have come back from group therapy and have expressed myself. It can quite literally make you feel on a high to express your self without judgement and to be listened to. 

 

The group I joined on Tuesday night was free. I’ll just let that hang there for a minute.  I don’t have a lot of money since the pandemic and my business hit the wall. I have seen many therapists over the years and have spent thousands of pounds trying to understand what has been happening in my brain and how to make myself feel better. There are many groups out there, like the OCD action one that are available to join for absolutely nothing. People are giving up their time (or they are being supported by charities) for the benefit of others which is a wonderful thing to do for them and for the people they are helping.  It is part of who you are and forgetting that you have OCD can end up with you wasting an awful lot of time so to keep reminding yourself about what you are dealing with is invaluable. It is really common for people to think that they have either cured themselves, or that it has just gone away only for them to realise at a much later date that is just morphed into something else and they just hadn’t realised, so as I say it is imperative to remind yourself regularly about what you have.

You only need to listen to a group of people with OCD for a few minutes to remember this is exactly who you are. (The brain is full of trickery and clever ways of deceiving itself so you do well to remember who you are).  

 

And more than anything, with groups meeting up is the feeling, and for me, this is the big one, of …. hope. Hope that one day you won’t have to have the entire day consumed by the flip-flop of thoughts going back and forth, heating up your brain, until you’re on your knees. Hope that you too, can live a happy and carefree life. OK, well maybe life just isn’t going to be carefree, anything can happen out there, it’s scary and uncertain but a life where you aren’t a servant to the intrusive obsessive thoughts is one hell of a good place to start!

There is no one on earth who truly understands what OCD is…. unless you happen to be one of those people with it. The truths that are told in the virtual or real room are incredibly powerful. No longer are you alone in the fight with one of mental health’s most insidious opponents. Now you belong to a group of people going through the same thing and are all 'in it together'. When you say ‘I just can’t bear this ‘ever-ending feeling that something isn’t quite right’ is fully understood just as, ‘I know what I should be doing to help myself feel better, but I somehow just don’t get round to it. I’m sort of sabotaging myself’. Feeling alone with an anxiety disorder like OCD is a horrible cross to bear and so to hear from others for an hour or two is valuable on so many levels. ‘Did you hear about ‘OCD Stories’`? ‘I tried those meds, but they didn’t really work for me.’ The tips and support ideas you can be alerted to are really helpful. Your local GP, who has about 5 minutes with you and doesn’t seem to ‘get’ what you are talking about might or might not point you in the right direction depending on their level of experience, but you can bet your bottom dollar, that if you find yourself in a room with enough of people with OCD, you are going to get some great ideas and information about how to help yourself feel better. 

Then there is the support itself. ‘You’re doing really well’, ‘Do you think you are being a bit hard on yourself’, ‘You’ve come such a long way when you look back’ and so on, comments. People who understand how difficult the fight against OCD is. ‘Just stop doing the compulsions and the intrusive thoughts will stop and voila, you’re cured’. Yes, yes, I get that, but it kind of feels like if I don’t carry on with them, I will be totally going against myself and who I am and where will that take me! Solidarity and support are something you will need to live successfully with OCD. Even if you can cope on your own, it will undoubtedly be easier if you check in with a group regularly.  Plus, then, you get to the point where you don’t want to do better. Maybe you learnt a lot from someone else last month, so maybe next month, you can bring something to the party. Normal group dynamics and politics, themselves billow your sails and give you the motivation to keep on with the mindfulness, exercise and super-nourishing diet (sigh)! They essentially can propel you forward hearing about how others overcame difficulties and giving you permission and ideas about how to push yourself on.

When people are together, invariably they will at some point like to have a bit of a laugh. And let me tell you, in my experience, there is a fair amount of levity and bravado in the OCD community. And why wouldn’t there, it’s like most of us know what we are doing is on some level nuts, even if that realisation comes in waves and isn’t always present. ‘Yes, its bonkers, when I stop to think about it, but I can’t stop myself doing it!’ And laughing in a group is about the best therapy that you can get, right up there with a good night’s sleep, I’d say. (On a personal note, OCD has contributed to isolation at many times in my life. I have ended up pushing people away, just wanting to be on my own and so groups are a great re-engagement with people).

 

Sharing your stories also has the incredible effect of getting the mental torment out of your head for a while. Mental health practitioners will often comment on how powerful expressing your thoughts in a diary is. It’s the same with group therapy. Your life makes more sense and the torment lessens by being able to express yourself in a group. It’s powerful. Some of the best times in my life have been when I have come back from group therapy and have expressed myself. It can quite literally make you feel on a high to express your self without judgement and to be listened to. 

 

The group I joined on Tuesday night was free. I’ll just let that hang there for a minute.  I don’t have a lot of money since the pandemic and my business hit the wall. I have seen many therapists over the years and have spent thousands of pounds trying to understand what has been happening in my brain and how to make myself feel better. There are many groups out there, like the OCD action one that are available to join for absolutely nothing. People are giving up their time (or they are being supported by charities) for the benefit of others which is a wonderful thing to do for them and for the people they are helping.  It is part of who you are and forgetting that you have OCD can end up with you wasting an awful lot of time so to keep reminding yourself about what you are dealing with is invaluable. It is really common for people to think that they have either cured themselves, or that it has just gone away only for them to realise at a much later date that is just morphed into something else and they just hadn’t realised, so as I say it is imperative to remind yourself regularly about what you have.

You only need to listen to a group of people with OCD for a few minutes to remember this is exactly who you are. (The brain is full of trickery and clever ways of deceiving itself so you do well to remember who you are).  

 

And more than anything, with groups meeting up is the feeling, and for me, this is the big one, of …. hope. Hope that one day you won’t have to have the entire day consumed by the flip-flop of thoughts going back and forth, heating up your brain, until you’re on your knees. Hope that you too, can live a happy and carefree life. OK, well maybe life just isn’t going to be carefree, anything can happen out there, it’s scary and uncertain but a life where you aren’t a servant to the intrusive obsessive thoughts is one hell of a good place to start!