Step 2: You Can’t Do It Alone

Once you have accepted that you have some form of OCD, then you are in a really good place. You cannot get better until you accept what is going on with you and getting to that place of acceptance can often be a long and difficult path. It certainly was for me and not only that but I’ve had to make the journey back to ‘acceptance’ a number of times because I had actually forgotten that I even had OCD. Yes, I know, that that sounds impossible but if the obsessive thoughts jump to something else, you are not always aware that this has happened. And so, making that journey back brings me to the 2^nd of 12 steps; you can’t do it on your own.

And by that, I mean that you have some kind of group to go to or some kind of weekly or monthly reminder of what you have. Firstly, as discussed, so that you always remember what you are dealing with but also for support. Of course, we can all read books and go through copious amounts of information on the internet and it can be incredibly helpful but nothing helps like talking it out and getting support. There is a magic in talking or simply just expressing yourself. It turns those hellish repetitive self-chatters into dust and lets you feel free, if only for a short time. 

So, telling your significant other or a good friend or family member is a good place to start. 

It can feel wonderful to be accepted when you have told someone that you think you are losing your mind because you can’t stop the obsessive thoughts from plaguing you. It’s an important first step but you are going to need constant reminders from now on about who you are and what you have and that isn’t really the responsibility of anyone else. Maybe you could set up a blog like this one to talk about it, maybe you could volunteer to help with an OCD charity?

And of course going to a therapist is great and can be essential at times but joining a group whether that’s online or in actual reality is the absolute ideal. You might have to try a few before finding some like-minded individuals but the personal empowerment you can get from joining a group is not to be underestimated. I should point out that I would find out what type of therapy the therapist utilises as whilst 'psychodynamic' therapy is excellent for many problems that people are having trouble with, OCD is not one of them and could even be damaging. Make sure you only go to someone who understands CBT / ERP. Nor is this a humanist field of expertise, you can't talk this out, there's little point in going over your upbringing, you need specific help with CBT/ERP only.

It is amazing to hear people talking about OCD as there are thoughts and actions that only people with OCD carry out. Non-obsessives will have no idea what you go through and even with the best will in the world are likely to be second best to the kind of support that someone that actually goes through what you go through can give. The resonation you feel when you hear someone telling their story but at the same time, seem to be telling your story is extremely strong and uplifting because you realise that you really are not on your own. Others go through exactly the same thing and what’s even better is they will all have great tips to help you help yourself. Group support is amazing. Of course, many of you may be thinking, ergh no thanks, that sounds like hell. And if that, is you, I would just ask yourself, what is the real reason you are stopping from going? Is it because, then you really would have to admit that you had OCD and that’s really hard to bear?

If you can check in regularly, even if it’s just once a month, you will keep in touch with your OCD which will be healthier for you. It’s a reminder of who you are and what kind of things that you need to do to keep yourself healthy. Burying your head in the sand, blaming others or using addictive behaviours to self-medicate yourself are all going to end up with you going down the wrong path and into greater misery. Like a fly banging his head on the window because he can see outside, you will eventually tire and end up in a spider’s web because you haven’t tried flying in a different direction. However you get your constant reminders of who you are and what you have, you need to have them if you are to have any chance of staying mentally healthy and you simply cannot rely on your brain to remember and to remind you as the brain just doesn’t work that way. You are going to have to be clever to outsmart yourself so make sure you get something in place on the day that you feel that you are able to as that day might not come along again for a long time.